Why Long-term Self-Care is Hard

Learning to care for ourselves can be challenging. As creatures of habit, we love to stay in our comfort zones and not face any changes. However, what's familiar may not be the safest or healthiest. What is familiar may be giving up your needs, living with low self-worth, or staying trapped in cycles of dysfunction or addiction. 

Long-term self-care calls for us to become a higher self. It is a road that can be laid with obstacles and trials. It takes courage and willingness for us to face our own darkness so we can work our way out of it. Here are 6 reasons why long-term self-care is hard.

We Don’t Know How

Growing up, we may not have seen good modelling of how to properly regulate our emotions and take care of our mental health. We are also  bombarded by messages from society with a list of to-dos and expectations. The truth  is, self-care is a process of unlearning and relearning.

We Think that Self-Care is Selfish

We've been told that self-care means disregarding our relationships or other responsibilities. Self-care never takes away anything from anyone. In fact, self-care means self-responsibility. Imagine if everyone were to be responsible for their own needs, we would be able to then give to each other from a place of joy and overflow rather than resentment or guilt.

We Confuse Self-care as Self-indulgence

We don't understand the difference between long-term and short-term self-care. Short-term self-care can look like a day at a spa or watching a favourite show. Long-term self-care means choosing to trade a bit of short-term discomfort for the sake of genuine fulfillment and personal growth. It is often easier to prioritise short-term self-care over  long-term self-care because of the instant gratification it gives to us. And because we do not work on resolving the root issues, the problems re-surface and we feel ashamed for having to avoid them by indulging in short-term self care again.

Long-term Self Care can Awaken Difficult Feelings

Practicing self-care makes us look inward and become a lot more aware of the reality of how we treat ourselves and how others treat us. It can bring up past wounds of feeling neglected, ignored or criticised for having our own voice, feelings and needs. When we first learn how to trust ourselves with speaking up or making our own choices, it can feel unsafe. Hence, allowing ourselves room to explore different strategies, and noticing how it makes us feel, is so important in building a sense of safety within ourselves again.

Self-care Requires Us to Re-evaluate our Current Relationships

In the past, we may have learned to suppress our needs and feelings in order to please others, or avoid punishment or rejection. We keep this habit in order to stay connected to people we love because we are afraid of losing them. However, if someone truly understands what love means, they would support and encourage you to care for yourself as well.

Long-term Self-care Comes from a Place of Self-acceptance and Worthiness

This belief of being worthy or accepted may be difficult to comprehend for some of us as we may have never felt that way. Because we think we are never deserving enough, we end up chasing after perfectionism in order to find approval from the world. We may also subconsciously involve ourselves with acts of self-betrayal or self-sabotage. These issues tend to stem from trauma, significant life experience(s) that may have shaped our worldview, beliefs, and personality traits.

To be healthy individuals, we  need both short and long-term self-care. Most importantly, we have to lean in and ask ourselves how we can manage our difficult emotions and stressful experiences through long-term self-care because that strengthens our resilience and mental flexibility.

Do you identify with any of these reasons for procrastinating long-term self-care? I invite you to think about how you can take small incremental steps to improve on your long-term self-care today. Because seeking long-term self-care can be challenging, here at Resting Tree, we are able to offer you support in your personal growth. Find out more by contacting us at info@restingtree.ca or book your free consultation today