Feeling uncertain about the therapeutic process? This is normal, especially if it is your first time. Here are some FAQs that might help you understand a bit more about therapy and what goes on in our sessions.

When do I need to see a therapist?

There is no wrong time, reason or explanation to see a therapist. The belief that you have to be at breaking point to see one isn’t accurate or healthy.

You can see a therapist because you want:

• Clarity in an area of your life

• Help with working through complex emotions

• To learn  new techniques to cope with difficult situations

• To separate your struggle from who you are 

• To learn new healthy ways to regulate negative emotions

• A designated  time where you can focus on your needs

• To move through grief/loss

• Help constructing a future in alignment with your goals

• To strengthen healthy beliefs 

• To learn strategies to manage difficult relationships 

• To learn strategies to increase self-worth

• To unlearn defensive behaviours or habits that no longer serve you

• To learn new strategies to self-regulate when faced with a trigger

• To have a safe space where you are not judged and can speak freely

How to prepare yourself for therapy

• Bring every part of yourself to therapy. There may be parts we are ashamed of and like to hide, eg., having a short fuse with your family, badmouthing your colleagues at work, or dealing with addiction. Show and tell your therapist about these parts and reflect on why you feel the need to deny or hide from them. That said, go at your own pace; you may express that you are not ready to talk about certain topics and that’s okay.

• Your therapist would not be fazed by what you say even though they care deeply for you. They are trained professionally to provide a safe holding space for your emotions and experiences. Express your feelings however you need to.

• The inner work has to continue after therapy. Use a therapy journal or notebook to write down 1) Before the session - a list of what you would like to discuss, 2) After the session - insights or strategies you have learnt, questions/suggestions by your therapist for your further reflection and practice.

• We all have moments of stress or frustration where we feel the need to vent about it. While it is alright to blow off some steam in therapy, at some point, your therapist may guide you to step back and think about how you can respond or think differently instead

• Develop an authentic relationship with your therapist. A good therapeutic relationship is made, not found. By being truthful about your experiences with your therapist, e.g., Do you find them too challenging or not challenging enough? Or are you worried about depending on them too much or them not liking you? Remember, no therapist is perfect because they are 100% human too. Being upfront with your therapist allows you to have a taste of what it means to have an authentic relationship with someone. The therapeutic relationship can therefore act as a model for secure and healthy relationships. 

How Does My Therapist Prepare for Our Session?

• Your therapist may research  topics related to your situation 

• They evaluate your progress with the notes they’ve taken from your sessions together  and plan  for the next steps in your treatment

• They receive supervision from their own therapist to ensure they are looking out for your best interest

What happens during the first session?

The first session is an intake session, where your therapist will ask you some questions about your current issues, personal history, family background, and goals for therapy. Everything will be kept in strict confidentiality and you do not need to talk about anything you feel uncomfortable about. The information your therapist collects will help them analyse your situation and design an individualised treatment plan that fits your needs. 

What do we talk about during therapy?

In every session, we will invite you to speak openly about what's been going on in your life, what's troubling you, or whether there are any new things you'd like to discuss. We would refer to the treatment plan from time to time to ensure that we are on track. In therapy, you can say exactly how and what you feel honestly without worrying if you are going to be judged or penalised in any way. Anything you want or need to say is OK. 

What Does Therapy Feel Like Realistically?

Although it may feel like you are supported and comforted at times in therapy, you may not enjoy therapy 100% of the time. It is also common to experience these things:

• There may be moments of silence, where you don’t know how to respond or what to say in sessions because of how you feel

• You may want your therapist to like you hence you may lie to them about your progress 

• You may fear their judgement and so you hide parts of yourself

• You may  feel exhausted after sessions

• You may get irritated or angry with your therapist

• You may feel really uncomfortable that you are being seen, heard and understood

• You may feel uncomfortable that they are supportive towards you

• You may feel disappointed when it’s slow and there’s no quick fix

All these experiences are part of the therapeutic process. Be honest with yourself and your therapist and bring them up in session so that your therapist can address them with you. Forging an authentic relationship with your therapist is fundamental to healing and progress.

What happens after each session?

Occasionally, we may give clients some homework to reflect upon and complete after a session. The homework might involve taking practical steps for some changes in your lifestyle or habits that are relevant to your goals for counselling. For example, setting boundaries in certain relationships, having solitary moments to self-reflect, or re-prioritising your schedule to fit in some helpful activities. It could also include skills-training, such as practicing various strategies to respond to your emotions and thoughts more compassionately and curiously. During your next session, you might share your progress and address areas where you got frustrated or stuck.

How many sessions do I have to attend?

The number and frequency of sessions depend on how complex your issues are, your current stressors and resources, and your readiness to work on yourself. Some of people  feel the need to be more supported, especially during hard times or when others are not emotionally available. As a start, it would be recommended for you to invest in at least 8 sessions so as to establish safety and trust with your therapist. Yes, therapy is an investment of your time, energy and money. However, in order for it to be effective, you need to play a part by continuing with your inner work outside of therapy. Therapy is about whatever you need - a temporary source of support during a transition phase or an ongoing experience to optimise health physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Why see a therapist instead of talking to a friend or a family member?

Some of us are fortunate to have a loving, supportive network of family members and friends where we can share everything with them as their encouragement and insights are very helpful. However, people who already know us may not be objective all the time. For example, you may be experiencing some problems with your boss and you share this with your wife. As much as she wants to be there for you, she is also dealing with her own stress, and sometimes this makes it hard for her to support you wholeheartedly. As such, seeing a therapist can be a unique opportunity for you to share your heart without invalidating your opinions or having someone to impose his or her expectations and worries onto you. 

When you are in a safe, therapeutic space of being able to be completely honest with yourself, you will find that you can embrace your past, learn from your flaws and make wise decisions in the long run. 

In summary…

Therapy is a useful tool that can help you to become the best person you want to be. If you are curious about how it works, give it a try and see how things unfold. You have very little to lose and potentially more clarity, purpose and happiness to gain. Find out more by contacting us at info@restingtree.ca or book your free consultation today